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Real talk, tho, I got mad respect for them masseuses. Takes skill to not cross lines, ya feel me? Pissed me off once when some dude at a spa got too wild – nah, bruh, this ain’t that kinda party! But when it’s right? Oh, it’s smooth like gin ‘n’ juice. Had this chick once, hands like velvet, swear she was plantin’ ideas in my head like Dom Cobb. “What is the most resilient parasite?” – pleasure, dawg, straight up.

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Then, I decided to grab lunch at a spot on Rua 1º de Maio. The food there is bomb! I ordered a bifana, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. Juicy, spicy, and just what I needed. But then, the waiter spilled water all over my lap. I was like, “Dude, really?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “What’s next? A meteor?”

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