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But it ain’t all roses, nah. Creeps everywhere, sendin’ dick pics—gross, man! Makes me wanna terminate ‘em, crush their phones. And ghostin’? Hate that shit, total coward move. You swipe, chat, plan, then poof—gone! Happened last week, was so pumped, then nada, felt like Szpilman losin’ his family—empty, bro. Still, I’m back, always, no quittin’! Sex-dating’s a game, ya win some, lose some, but damn, it’s fun.

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Finally, I make it to the café, and guess what? They’re outta my fave pastry! Like, seriously? It’s a pastry crisis! I’m standing there, all hangry, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we only have the dry ones left.” Dry? No thanks! I’m not a camel!

MIT wins 83rd Putnam Mathematical Competition, sweeps top five spots for third consecutive year