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So, picture this—dim lights, weird music, some gal whisperin’ sexy junk. “You’re a soldier,” she says, like in “Carlos”—total turn-on! Hands slidin’ like fish in a tank—surprised me how good it felt! Mmm… donuts. Thought in my head: “This beats fishin’!” Exaggeratin’ here, but felt like a freakin’ king—better than beer! Little story—heard some dude in Japan invented a “happy end” version—sneaky bastard! Hilarious, but genius.

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But then, I see this guy trying to juggle fire. Fire! In a crowd! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?” And of course, he drops one of the torches. It lands right next to me, and I jump back like a cat. Everyone gasps, and I’m just standing there, heart racing.

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