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But yo, the clowns on here? Dudes lyin’ bout height—bro, you 5’2”, chill! Chicks ghostin’ after three texts—coward shit, like Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back. “Ain’t no honor in that,” I mutter, sippin’ my drink. Surprised me once, this girl said she into tree bark—forester shit, I’m like, “Marry me now!” Nah, didn’t work, she unmatched, ha! Sex-dating’s a jungle, bruh—half these folks catfishin’, other half tryna flex. I’m like, “I’m Kanye, I don’t need no filter!”

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Then I decide to check out the market at Praça da República. I love that place! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the local gossip. But guess what? It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Salvaterra-de-Magos had the same idea? I’m elbowing my way through, trying to grab some oranges. And this old lady, bless her heart, she’s got a cart full of stuff and she’s just blocking the way. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I just need some oranges!”

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