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About Funchal

Mate, it’s a laugh – cheap as chips, parts everywhere, you can flog it together with spit and hope. Sarcasm? Oh, yeah, “luxury ride,” my arse – seats hard as a brick, but who gives a toss? Gets ya from A to B, don’t it? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather hoon an Escort than polish some Tesla tosspot’s ego. “Don’t shoot, I beg of you!” – movie again, me yellin’ at the coppers when I floored it once, haha, close call that!

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Handjob · Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge · Striptease · Anal Sex (depends on the size) · Deep Throat · Cum in Mouth · Classic Sex · Girlfriend Experience (GFE).

But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, I get a distress call. A car’s flipped over on Rua do Mar. My heart drops. I rush to the scene. Traffic’s a mess, people are honking, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. I get there, and it’s chaos. Firefighters, paramedics, and a bunch of onlookers. I’m thinkin’, “Why do people love drama so much?”

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