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Now, fun fact—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks, mate, they were at it—oiled up like it’s the bloody Olympics! Adds a bit of class, don’t it? Not just some sleazy backroom gig. I’m sat there, thinkin’, “This is my wheelhouse,” picturin’ meself as some toga-clad geezer gettin’ a rub. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s me brand—go big or go home!

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Sexual massage, Mistress (hard), Prostate Massage, Kissing if good chemistry, Prostate Massage.

Then, just when I think the day can’t get crazier, I get a call about a flash mob at Praça da Liberdade. I’m like, “What?!” I rush over, and it’s a full-on dance party. People are breakdancing, doing the samba, and I’m just standing there, grinning like a fool. I can’t help but join in. Who cares if I can’t dance?

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