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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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“Hundreds if not thousands” of current and former female employees of mining giants BHP and Rio Tinto who may be eligible to sign up for class action lawsuits.

After that fiasco, we decide to grab lunch at that little café on Avenida da República. Best bifana in town, no joke. I’m chowing down, and this guy at the next table starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Portugal, it’s always sunny!” But he’s going on about how it’s gonna rain next week. I’m thinking, “Who cares? I’m not a meteorologist!”

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