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But yo, some fools out here overcharge—$200 for a rubdown? Man, that pisses me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I ain’t droppin’ stacks for slippery fingers!” Had this one chick once, tho, real pro—soft hands, knew the spots, had me floatin’ like I smoked the fattest blunt. Surprised the hell outta me, like, “This what heaven feel like?” She whispered some shit ‘bout tantric energy, chi flowin’—I’m like, “Word? Keep it comin’, girl!” That’s the real deal, not some whack-ass spa scam.

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Anyway, I finally get to my shop on Rua 1º de Maio. I’m all set up, ready to sharpen some blades. You know, knives, scissors, the usual. But then, this dude walks in. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, he’s got this ancient sword. I mean, like, it’s older than my grandma! He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m a sharpener, not a miracle worker!” But I can’t say no. So, I take it on.

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