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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down Rua do Comércio, minding my own business, when I saw this guy yelling at his dog. Like, chill, bro! It’s a dog, not a criminal! I was ready to step in, but then the dog just sat there, looking all confused. I felt bad for the pup.

Figure 1. Predators of Crossodactylus schmidti in Turvo State Park, Rio...