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But yo, sometimes it’s dope. This one dude, ripped, met at 2 a.m.—wild night. “You’re my oxygen,” I almost said, straight outta *Blue*. Didn’t, tho—kept it chill. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bro. Half the time, pics are fake—catfish central. Saw a “hottie” once, showed up, looked like Jabba the Hutt. Laughed my ass off, then bolted.

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After that, I headed to the market on Avenida da República. Man, the vibe there is always lit! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of grilled chouriço wafting through the air. I was in heaven. But then, I saw this old lady trying to haggle over a bunch of bananas. Like, lady, they’re already cheap! Just buy them! But nooo, she was determined. I was like, “C’mon, it’s not a negotiation for a house!”

Figura 1. Perfi l de um riacho, demonstrando as diferentes rotas da...