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Then there’s the money side—ooh, it gets me tickled pink! Did ya know some folks spend $500 a year on premium datin’ apps? That’s more’n I’d drop on a sequined gown! And get this: back in 2019, them sex-datin’ companies raked in $2.5 billion—bigger’n my hair after a tease! I’m like, “Gimme the cash, I’m rich, bitch!”—straight outta *Spring Breakers*, y’all. But it ain’t all glitz; some poor souls get scammed outta their savins by sweet-talkin’ cons. Breaks my heart worse’n a country ballad.

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Later, I head to the cafeteria. The food? Ugh. It’s like they’re trying to punish us. I grab a plate of whatever that slop is. I sit down, and guess who plops down next to me? Carla, the new guard. She’s cool, but she talks a lot. I’m tryin’ to eat, and she’s all, “Did you see the new mural on Rua da Paz?” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Can I just eat in peace?”

Bar Muy Buenas revives a slice of Barcelona history