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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.
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Grabbed my café com leite and bolinho de chuva, and I’m out the door. But then, bam! I step right into a pigeon poop bomb. Ugh, seriously? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I’m hopping on one foot, trying to clean my shoe on the sidewalk of Avenida da Liberdade. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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