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What gets me tho – the stigma! Society’s all “ooh, dodgy”, but escorts? They’re just graftin, like us in sales, floggin a service! Total blue-sky thinkin, if you ask me. One lass I read about, right, she’d only take bookings if you solved a riddle first. Mental, yeah? Loved that, proper quirky – made me chuckle like a drain.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Mercado da Ribeira. I mean, who doesn’t love a good food market, right? The vibe there is always lit. I’m walking through, and the smell of fresh seafood hits me. I’m drooling. I see this guy selling octopus, and I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life.” So, I buy a plate, and it’s amazing. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I just got into a food fight.

Transfer rumors, news: Leverkusen want Wirtz to Man City, Real Madrid over Bayern