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Oh, fun fact—there’s this secret code escorts use online, like “roses” for bucks. Sneaky, huh? Keeps it hush-hush from nosy cops. Smart as hell! Tho I’d suck at it—too loud, too Beetlejuice-y, ha! “It’s me, baby!” I’d yell, blowin’ the whole gig. Anyway, escort’s a trip—gritty, glam, messy, real. Like “Holy Motors,” it’s all “one more time, then curtains!” What ya think, pal—nuts or genius?

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Finally, I get to the market. It’s packed! I’m looking for fresh sardines, but all I see are people haggling. I’m like, “Yo, I just want some fish!” But no, it’s a whole scene. I’m getting impatient. I mean, I love fish, but I don’t wanna fight for ‘em!

Meadville's Lashon Lindsey to play professional basketball in Portugal