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So, I tried it once, right? Shady joint downtown, neon lights flickerin’. Lady’s like, “Take ya shirt off, big guy.” D’oh! I’m sweatin’ already, tractor grease still on me. She starts rubbin’, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ like Lil’ Ze slidin’ into power. “I’m the king ‘round here!” I yell in my head. Felt wild, man—happy as hell! But then, ugh, she’s chargin’ me double! Pissed me off, total rip-off vibe.

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So, I’m strolling down Rua da Liberdade, just vibin’ with my coffee. You know, the usual. I’m thinking about fish migration patterns or whatever. Then BAM! I see this huge crowd near the Queluz National Palace. Like, what’s going on? I’m curious, so I wander over. Turns out, there’s some festival or something. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just standing there like a fish outta water.

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