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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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Finally, I’m done with the market chaos. I’m walking back home, and I see this street performer on Avenida da República. He’s playing the guitar, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I stop to listen, and he starts singing this song about Queijas. It’s all about the streets, the people, the vibe. I’m feeling all the feels. Like, how can a place be so small yet so full of life?

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