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Lemme tell ya, it’s a trip. One time, Mr. T swiped this chick—profile said “loves tacos.” Next thing, we’re sextin’ bout guac—spicy, ya feel me? But then—bam!—she ghosts. Pissed me off, man! I pity the fool who flakes! Wasted my smooth lines, like, c’mon! Still, the rush? Worth it. You never know who’s next—could be a freak or a bore.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Escola. It’s a nice street, all those trees and stuff. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “I got you, lady!” So I help her out. Turns out, she’s got a pet parrot named Paco. This bird starts squawking like it’s auditioning for a musical. I’m cracking up. The lady’s all, “He’s just excited!” I’m like, “Yeah, I get it. I’d be excited too if I had a free ride.”

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