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About Lisbon

What pisses me off? The fakers! Catfishers with pics from 2010, lookin’ like they aged in a blender. Or the “I’m 6 foot” liars—mate, I’m a god, I can see you’re 5’7”! But the highs? Oh, when it clicks—hot, sweaty, no-strings fun—it’s like “Blessed be the forgetful,” pure bliss, no baggage. Last week, hooked up with this artist lass, wild hair, wilder kinks. Left me grinning like a fool—best sex-dating win yet!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Escola. It’s a nice street, all those trees and stuff. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “I got you, lady!” So I help her out. Turns out, she’s got a pet parrot named Paco. This bird starts squawking like it’s auditioning for a musical. I’m cracking up. The lady’s all, “He’s just excited!” I’m like, “Yeah, I get it. I’d be excited too if I had a free ride.”

Orelhas | Restaurants in Oeiras, Lisbon