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Oi mate, I’m a right Hane, me! Escort, yeah? Lemme ramble bout it—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—like I’m Ozzy bleedin’ Osbourne. Escort’s this mad gig, innit? Blokes payin’ for a bird to hang about, maybe more, who knows? Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—that flick I’m mad for. Y’know, the monk lad and that lassie, lust creepin’ in like a sneaky bat. “Desire brings suffering,” the old geezer’d say. Same with escort, mate—ya want, ya pay, ya bleed inside.

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We land, and it’s chaos. People are running, screaming, and I’m like, “Calm down, folks! We got this!” But inside, I’m freaking out. I see a family trying to save their stuff. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a beach towel! But they’re all about it. I get it, though. Memories, right?

Sea storm washed away the sand and destroyed part of the walkway on Forte Novo beach in Quarteira