Megan Prior Velho Find A Prostitute ❤️

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So, I’m scrollin’ dodgy sites, yeah? Ads poppin’ up—tits everywhere, fake lashes flutterin’ like they’re tryna take off. One bird’s profile says, “classy lady, discreet fun.” Discreet? She’s got her arse out in the pics! Laughed me head off, cacklin’ like a hyena on crack. Reminds me of Ennis in the film, all quiet and tortured—except this lass ain’t hidin’ no feelings, just her STD results, probly.

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Avenida da República. I order my usual, a galão, and sit outside. The vibe is nice, people are laughing, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.” But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, Prior-Velho? You couldn’t give me a heads up? I’m sprinting for cover, coffee flying everywhere. I’m soaked, and my caffeine fix is gone. Just great.

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