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But oh man, the escort could piss me off—carburetor actin’ up, fixin’ it in the rain, hands black as sin. Once saw a dude soup up an Escort XR3i—turbo screamin’, thought, “Whoa, this ain’t no happy little tree, it’s a freakin’ beast!” Surprised me, legit—didn’t know escorts could flex like that. Fun fact, y’all: they raced these bad boys in rallies, kickin’ dirt, takin’ names—ain’t that wild?

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And then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy João. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this! The fountain in Praça do Almada is spewing green water!” I’m thinking, “What the heck? Is it St. Patrick’s Day already?” I can’t help but laugh. Only in Povoa-de-Lanhoso, man.

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