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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—pure bliss, I’m yellin, “Oh, Christ, I’m alive!” straight outta “Fish Tank” vibes. Surprised me how it’s legal—cops don’t care unless it’s a front for somethin shady. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft tunes—none of that fluorescent nonsense! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like heaven—lavender, I think, tho I sneezed twice, typical Marge luck.

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After that, I head back to the station, still grumpy. I’m tryin’ to shake it off when I get another call. “We’ve got a situation at the market on Rua da Praça.” I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a huge fight breakin’ out over some fresh fish. I mean, come on, it’s just fish!

Maria L. (Martins) Barreiros Obituary February 24, 2014