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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all roses an’ rum – some parlors, they’re dodgy as a siren’s promise. Ye gotta watch fer the ones promisin’ “happy endin’s” when ye just want yer shoulders sorted, savvy? Me, I’d rather watch Eli drain a neck than get caught in *that* mess. Oh, an’ here’s a quirky bit – in Japan, they got these “soaplands,” been ‘round since the samurai days, where it’s all bubbles an’ slippery fun. Who knew them sword-swingers liked a saucy scrub?

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After that, I need a drink. So, I hit up that new bar Tiago was raving about. It’s called “O Porto Alegre.” Super cozy, right? I order a ginjinha, and it’s like a party in my mouth. I’m feeling good again. I start chatting with some locals, and they’re all about the football. “Did you see the game last night?” they ask. I’m like, “Nah, I was busy getting pooped on by pigeons.” They laugh, and suddenly, I’m the life of the party.

Ottavio Melidona | 2012 | Obituary