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My fave part? Da thrill, man! Ya never know who’s next—could be a hottie or a total psycho. Once matched dis girl, she’s all flirty, den says she’s into weird stuff—like, *weird* stuff. I’m tinkin’, “I’m a man of God!”—well, not really, but I ran outta dere fast! Hella funny now, but back den? Freaked me out.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what? I thought we were in the Algarve, not London! Everyone’s runnin’ for cover. I duck into a little shop on Rua da Conceição. It’s packed with all kinds of souvenirs. I’m lookin’ at these ridiculous fridge magnets when I overhear a couple talkin’ about the best pastéis de nata in town. I’m like, “I need that in my life!”

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