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So, lemme spill—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’. It’s, like, ancient, dude! Goes back to them Taoist folks in China, mixin’ energy and sexy vibes—chi flowin’ where it shouldn’t, heh! I read this once, some geisha gal in Japan got busted in 1600s for givin’ “special rubs” to a samurai. True story! Blew my froggy mind! Imagine that—bamboo screens, sneaky hands, total scandal. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ bout it.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Museu de Portalegre. I mean, why not? I’m a writer, I should be cultured, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s all this cool stuff from the 18th century. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I knock over a vase. It’s like a scene from a bad comedy. Everyone stares. I’m mortified. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

Final round in the FIA World Cup for Cross-Country Rallies in Portugal // Vasilyev close to winning the title // Three MINI ALL4 Racing participating at the Baja Portalegre.