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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly! Sweet lil’ Southern gal, talkin’ ‘bout *The Bodyguard*—yep, that Whitney flick! Lordy, I ain’t no highfalutin critic, but this movie’s got me hollerin’. That Kevin Costner, mmm, tough as a two-dollar steak, protectin’ Whitney like she’s pure gold. And Whitney—honey, she’s a *whore* in the best way! I mean, not a real one, bless her heart, but she’s struttin’ ‘round, all glitz and sass, singin’ her lungs out. Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—my fave, y’all know that—where Eilis, sweet thing, leaves Ireland, chasin’ somethin’ bigger. Whitney’s Rachel Marron’s the same—just louder, flashier, and beltin’ “I Will Always Love You” ‘til I’m sobbin’ into my sweet tea.

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But then, I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest little thing ever. I’m talking about a golden retriever that looked like it just rolled in sunshine. I’m all smiles, right? I kneel down to pet it, and the owner, this old guy, starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Portalegre, how it used to be a big deal in the textile industry. I’m nodding, pretending to care, but really, I’m just focused on the dog.

Yamaha Desert Challenge introduced for 2024