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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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Then, this kid—let’s call him Miguel—runs up to me. He’s like, “Miss, where’s the Harry Potter section?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right over there.” But he’s already zooming off, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Kids these days, I swear.

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