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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort, *nasal twang kickin’ in*, it’s like, whoa, not what ya think! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my diet soda, thinkin’ ‘bout “Moolaadé,” that fierce flick by Sembène, ‘bout standin’ up, protectin’ what’s right, ya know? Escort, it’s got that vibe—freedom, but messy! Like Collé in the movie screamin’, “No one’s cutting my girls!”—escort’s ‘bout choosin’ your path, but society’s all, “Nuh-uh, we judge!” *The Nanny laugh—HAH-HAH-HAH!* I’m gettin’ all worked up!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up Rua da Liberdade. Grabbed a coffee at this cute little café. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? It was like liquid gold. I swear, I could’ve bathed in it. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my croissant! I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I mean, it’s Ponte, not a bird buffet!

Chef Chris Ponte announces opening date for modern Italian restaurant OLIVIA in St. Pete