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About Queluz

Humor? Oh, sexual-massage like foreplay that ghost you—tease, tease, then poof! Sarcasm? “Oh great, another bill for rubbin’!” Little story—friend try at shady place, guy masseur show up, he run screamin’. Very nice twist! Me, I stick to pros—soft music, dim light, “You’re the fuckin’ man!” I whisper to mirror after.

Where is Ponte de Lima?

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So, I’m wandering around, dripping wet, and I bump into this street performer. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, he was kinda good! I felt a little better. I even tossed him a couple of coins. But then, this kid runs by and knocks my phone outta my hand! It goes flying, and I’m like, “Noooo!” I swear, my heart stopped. Luckily, it landed on grass, but still! I was ready to chase that kid down.

The unsung and affordable corner of Portugal that will convince you to emigrate