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Oh, and the typos—ha! I’m rushin’, y’all, fat fingers on this phone. Escrots, escorts, whatever—y’all get me. Funniest thing? Some dude on X said he hired an escort to scare his mom—dressed her like a ghost! I’m dyin’, that’s gold! Wish I’d seen it. Anyway, escorts—wild, messy, human as heck. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re out there, and I’m just over here, hollerin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” ‘Cause dang, it’s a trip!

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But then, I get a text. My shipment’s finally here! I’m like, “YES!” I rush back to the port, and it’s like a scene from a movie. The sun’s setting, casting this golden glow over everything. I’m feeling all emotional, like I just conquered the world.

TAP flight diverts due to unruly passenger