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Now, here’s a wild tidbit—didja know in Japan they got “nurumassage”? Slippery as heck, usin’ this seaweed gel—sounds like somethin’ Miss Piggy’d try to wrestle me into! Made me laugh my flippers off picturin’ it. But serious, it’s sensual, slow—like, whoa, chill, world! I’d be all, “Hi-ho, this beats crashin’ through trees!” Once heard a story—some firefighter buddy got one after a shift, said it was better’n winnin’ the lottery. Jealous? Me? Nah—okay, yeah, steamed me up a lil’!

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Then, bam! I bump into Maria. She’s this old lady who always yells at me for using fur. “You’re killing the planet!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to make a living here!” But she’s sweet, in her own way. She hands me a pastel de nata. I mean, who can resist that? I’m munching on it, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

Maria Fernandes Obituary (2023) - West Hartford, CT - Hartford Courant