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Gets weirder, though – hear this! Mate o’ mine, he swears some lass sex-dated him just to nick his firefightin’ helmet! “What’s she want that for?” I screeches. Fetish or somethin’? Laughed me arse off, I did! But serious, it’s a jungle out there – fake pics, catfishers lurkin’. “The world’s gone astray,” like in me film, yesss. Dodgy sods pretendin’ they’re hot stuff – surprises me every time!

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a shepherd in Perozinho is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up early, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already out there, herding my sheep. You know, the usual. But today? Oh boy, today was a whole different story.