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About Porto

I ain’t judgin’, tho—live how you live! It’s just them hands, that oil, slidin’ ‘round, makin’ you forget your name. Kinda like when Kolya in the movie’s drownin’ in vodka—numb but alive! I’d prolly try it, but I’d sass the masseuse—“Don’t you skimp on that oil, boo!” Halleluyer! It’s freaky, it’s fun, it’s a lil’ sinful—perfect for a Southern gal like me who’s seen it all! Now, who’s got the guts to book it? Tell Madea how it goes!

FISIOTERAPIA / OSTEOETIOPATIA

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m an actuary, so I need my caffeine fix to crunch those numbers, ya know? But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, like I’m not busy enough.

Before The Storm: Colapintos & the CT Score Firing Supertubos