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About Queluz

Sex-dating’s a crapshoot, y’know? Swipe right, pray they ain’t nuts. One time, guy shows up—dude’s got a pet snake. A SNAKE! Wrapped around his neck, hissin’ at me. I’m out, pal—“This isn’t my fault!” Movie line, fits perfect. Pro tip: check pics for red flags—snakes, exes, clown masks. Trust me, seen it all. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but only a lil—makes the story jucier!

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After the café, I decide to hit up the Penafiel Castle. I mean, why not? It’s a bit of a hike, but the view is worth it. I’m climbing up, and I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But when I reach the top, WHOA. The view of the Douro River is insane! I snap a pic, feeling like a tourist.

J.P. Morgan Fires Back, Recruits $6.4-Mln Morgan Stanley Team