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So I’m chattin’ this bird, right? She’s all “50 quid, love” and I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, inflation’s a bitch!” Made me angry, that – used to be a tenner for a quickie! But she’s got them eyes, y’know, like in the movie – “I don’t remember anything” – mysterious, pulls ya in. I’m half-pissed, laughin’, “You headless too, darlin’?” She don’t get it, but I’m cacklin’ like a nutter.

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I start setting traps, and outta nowhere, I hear a loud crash. I jump, thinking it’s the rats coming for me. But nah, it’s just some kid playing soccer outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a whole squad of kids, kicking a ball around. I can’t help but smile. They’re having the time of their lives. Makes me remember when I was a kid, running around without a care.

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