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Now, *Ida*—that movie’s all bout searchin’, right? “You’re a funny kind of nun,” they say. Escorts got that vibe too—playin’ roles, hidin’ truths. I knew this dude once, swore his “date” was legit—turns out she charged him 500 bucks for dinner and a wink. Funniest shit ever, I laughed till I choked! He was pissed, tho—red face, steam comin’ outta his ears. Me? I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for the story.”

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the local market on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals chatting. I love the vibe here. I grab some figs and olives, thinking I’m all fancy. But then, I trip over a crate of oranges. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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