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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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Then, I decide to stroll by the beach. Praia do Areinho, man! The waves were crashing, and the sun was shining. I’m feeling all zen, right? But then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it straight at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still like, “Really? Is this a thing now?”

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