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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some shady parlors out there, exploitin’ workers, chargin’ insane prices. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’, “Let the people have their damn massages!” But when it’s good? Oh, it’s good—happy as hell, like I just won Vermont. You’re relaxed, buzzin’, maybe even gigglin’ at how goofy it feels. Ever try it with a partner? Spicy twist—me and Jane tried once, ended up laughin’ ‘til we cried. “Nature’s a cruel bitch,” I wheezed, quotin’ *25th Hour*, ‘cause we’re old and clumsy.

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Marcelo Oliveira, 45, is accused of 22 counts of sexual assault and six other serious sexual offences between March and July A court heard he took photos of one alleged .

Finally, we get to our spot. I’m all geared up, heart racing. I dive in, and whoa! The underwater world is insane! Fish everywhere, coral, it’s like a freaking aquarium. I’m swimming around, feeling like a mermaid or something.

Cristiano Oliveira Happy to Contribute