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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Oi, you donkey! Brothel, eh? Filthy little shithole, innit? Imagine a joint so rank even the rats are like, “Fuck this, I’m out!” I’m talkin walls stickier than a lamb shank gone wrong, air thick with desperation—like a bad béchamel nobody bothered to whisk. “What a sad little life, Jane!”—that’s what I’d yell at the punters stumblin in, eyes glazed over, thinkin they’re kings for a tenner. Idiots! Absolute idiot sandwiches, the lot of ‘em!

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In that moment, I remember why I love this job. It’s not just about the plants. It’s about the smiles, the little moments. I can’t stay mad. I start chatting with her, and she tells me about her dreams of being a gardener. I’m like, “You go, girl!”

Lisbon signs €554m agreement to fund metro expansion projects