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My friends, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on erotic-massage. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ this! Picture it—dim lights, oiled hands, a vibe so chill it’s like magic. I’m talkin’ slippery, sensual rubs that’d make even Sauron blush. Saw this flick, *Holy Motors*, fuckin’ wild ride—bodies twistin’, touchin’, like an erotic-massage gone rogue. “Weirdness is beauty,” it says, and damn, that’s the truth here!

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Anyway, I hit the streets of Olivais, and it’s already buzzing. I’m walkin’ down Rua de Olivais, and the sun’s shining, but it’s that weird mix of hot and cool. You know, typical Lisbon vibes. I’m feelin’ good, got my tunes blastin’, and then BAM! I see this street performer on Avenida Magalhães. Dude’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I stop, throw him a couple of euros, and he gives me this huge smile. Made my day, honestly.

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