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About Porto

Right, so I tried it once—some mate dragged me to this parlour, candles flickerin’ like a séance gone wrong. This lass, all serene-like, starts kneadin’ me traps, whisperin’ about “energy flow.” Energy flow? I’m thinkin’, “Love, only flow here’s the cash outta me wallet!” Cost me a tenner more than a curry night—fuckin’ outrageous! Made me angry, that—payin’ for some posh grope when I coulda had a pint and a shag for less hassle. But—BUT—when she hit that spot, right under me shoulder blade? Jesus wept, I melted like a twat on a sunbed. “Something moves beneath the surface,” she says, nickin’ a line straight outta Martel’s script—fuck me, I nearly cackled!

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As the night goes on, we’re laughin’, tellin’ stories, and I’m feelin’ all the feels. But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Like, what?! The whole bar goes dark, and everyone’s like, “What’s happening?” But then, the bartender pulls out some candles, and we’re all just vibin’ in the dark. It’s kinda romantic, honestly.

Figure 6. Neighbourhoods of Olivais Norte and Chelas: General views...