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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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Finally, we get to the waterfront. The view is stunning! The sun setting over the Ria Formosa is like something outta a postcard. I’m trying to soak it all in, but then I hear someone shout. It’s a kid, chasing a dog. The dog runs straight into the water! Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is Olhão, man. You never know what’s gonna happen!”

Seafood grabs spotlight for five days in Olhão