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So, check this—met this lass online, profile all sexy-like, curves for days. Thought, “Ooh, tasty, my precious!” But bam—catfish! Total letdown, made me mad as hell. Felt like Grace, y’know, used and spat out. “They’re all dogs,” I hissed. Ain’t that the truth? Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate.
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Anyway, we finally get to the market. Oh man, the Mercado Municipal de Olhão is a feast for the senses! Fresh fish, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to get everyone to try some local delicacies. “You gotta taste the octopus salad!” I say. But Mr. Know-It-All is like, “Ew, no way!” I’m thinking, “You’re missing out, man!”
Four days of New Year’s fun in Olhão
A once-dilapidated townhouse refurbished into a luxurious space by a British couple. Meditation and other retreats as well as a week-long residential on how to write a bestseller by the London agent Jacq Burns (seven nights’ full board from £2,500pp; casafuzetta.com).Olhao Brothel
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