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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got algorithms fuckin’ with us? They push the hot ones first, keep us scrollin’ like junkies. Pissed me off when I found out—thought I was pickin’, but nah, they playin’ me! Still, scored a date last week—dude was smooth, talkin’ dirty in sign language. Hands movin’ like poetry—fuckin’ surprised me, man. Got me thinkin’, “I loved her like a wave,” like in the movie—intense, then gone.

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After that chaos, I decide to chill at the Jardim Municipal. It’s my favorite spot. The trees are all green, and there’s this fountain that’s super relaxing. I plop down on a bench, thinking about life. You know, the usual swineherd stuff. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my peace, and they’re ruining it! I’m like, “Can’t you take it somewhere else?” But they don’t hear me, obviously.

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