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About Porto

Sex-dating’s messy, tho—love that chaos! Met this one bird, profile said “adventurous,” hah! Showed up in flip-flops, wanted Netflix, nothin’ else—pissed me right off! “We’re not here to negotiate, comrades!” I yelled in me head, Carlos-style. Dumped her quick, no time for lazy bones. Next one, tho? Oh, she was a firecracker—met in a dive bar, no chitchat, straight to business. Made me grin like a mad hobbit, “My precious!” rasped out loud—she laughed, didn’t care.

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First off, I head down Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got this wild beard, like a wizard or something. He starts rambling about the best chouriço in town. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a swineherd, I know my chouriço!” But he just keeps going. I’m trying to be polite, but c’mon, I got pigs to tend to!

Tennis: Eala, Volynets fall short in doubles in Oeiras Ladies Open