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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—I see the grime, the need, the hustle. Favorite bit? When Sasha said, “Warden, I’d shag ya for free.” Cheeky cow—cracked me up! Still, ‘Amour’ lingers in my head—“It’s forever,” he says. Escorts? Ain’t forever, just a night. That’s the kicker, mate—beautiful, brutal, gone.

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Then, I decide to grab that pastel de nata. You know, the one from that little bakery on Rua 1º de Maio? Best in town, hands down. I walk in, and the smell hits me like a wave. I’m drooling, right? I order one, and the lady behind the counter gives me this look. Like, “You sure you can handle it?” I’m like, “Lady, I’ve been training for this my whole life!”

Wildfire rages for fourth day in southern Portugal, 1,400 people evacuated