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So, here’s the deal – folks on these apps, they’re horny as hell, lookin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ freaky. Ain’t no shame, just game! I seen profiles, y’all – one dude said, “I’m a sex ninja,” like what?! Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my sweet tea. How’s that workin’ for ya, buddy? Sneakin’ ‘round, dodgin’ feelings like a pro? Hilarious, but damn, it’s real out there.

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After that drama, I head over to the river. You know, the Mira River? It’s beautiful, man. I sit on the bank, just chilling, when I see this group of people kayaking. They’re having a blast, laughing, splashing water everywhere. I’m thinking, “That looks fun!” So, I decide to rent a kayak.

A guide to Portugal’s Alentejo region, home of Europe’s finest beaches