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But mate, it ain’t all rosy, nah. Some punters are nutters – violent twats, makes me wanna smash somethin. “Sharon!” – wish I could zap ‘em, y’know? Then there’s the law, always fuckin’ sniffin round, bustin girls for just survivin’. Pisses me off! Tho, gotta say, some escorts I’ve met – sharp as knives, mate. One told me she paid her uni fees, fuckin’ brainiac, that! Surprised me, y’know, thought it was all dumb dollys – nah, some are queens.

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “You gotta handle the mining permits today!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, no prob.” But then I remember, it’s not just any permits. It’s the ones for that new site near the castle. You know, the one that’s been the talk of the town? Everyone’s got an opinion, and I’m stuck in the middle. Great.

Inside The Literary Man Óbidos Hotel in Portugal that's home to 45,000 books