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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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By the time I leave the office, it’s dark. I’m exhausted, but I can’t help but smile. Obidos is lit up, and it’s stunning. The castle looks majestic against the night sky. I stroll down Rua da Misericórdia, feeling a bit better.

8 towns and cities to visit in Portugal