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Heard this one story—mad ting. Girl in Soho, yeah, proper legend. She’s clockin’ 500 quid a night, but get this—she’s got a pet parrot what swears in Polish! Clients come in, bird’s like, “Kurwa, pay up!” Bare hilarious, bruv. Little shit like that keeps it real—escorts got lives, not just bodies, ya get me?

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So, I’m walking down Rua da Escola, right? And I see this little café. The smell of pastéis de nata hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I order one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, the barista spills coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” But hey, it’s all good. I’m still riding that pastry high.

Padre Botte House by CNLL Architects